It has come to my attention, far removed from my own child's name choice, that there are people out there who do not give one iota of thought to the naming of their offspring. I used to joke in my pre-parent days about parents "not loving their children" when they gave them an off-the-wall moniker such as Crystal Blue Sky or Jedi Mumps or Clay Moore (I didn't make any of those up, btw. I knew or knew-of the living human beings walking around with those ridiculous names). After I had E, however, I realized that it wasn't a joke. Giving someone their name is serious business, and in the case of celebrities serious business. So how is it that so many people take it so lightly? Don't they realize the importance a name makes? Not just on the schoolyard, but in the job market, dating scene, even to their potential higher education??
I. Rest. My. Case
Fortunately for my DD, I got some practice on this responsibility in college as a big sister in my sorority. One of our jobs/rights was to choose the nickname we gave our little sisters. How did that turn out? Let's just say my little sister gave herself her own nickname. Nothing spells FAIL quite like someone telling you, in no uncertain terms, that you have no ability whatsoever to be clever.
...you are not.
I have since learned from that mistake and took close to 7 months to figure out my progeny's nom de guerre. I enlisted help, of course. I consulted books, websites, family members and friends; which in retrospect should have been avoided due to the total awkwardness of having them suggest their own names and me to force a grin and giggle politely all while thinking "No friggin way..".
Picture this at a crowded Thanksgiving dinner table.
When we finally made our choice, hubs and I argued on spelling and middle names to match. We took our last name into account and even possible initial combinations to avoid things like T.O.Y. or E.Claire. We thought about this dammit!
Now, I'm all for being original and individualistic, but I can tell you from personal experience it can take DECADES for a kid to love his/her name. However there are some names, suffice it to say, that just don't ever deserve loving. Here are just a few of the atrocities I have seen lately and what I think of when I see them: Flossie (Cow), Mamie (Old housekeeper), Zeus (Juicehead), Zeno (Serial Killer), Sage Moonblood (Gamer parents) , Fifi Trixibelle (Dog), Audio Science (Alien), Rocket Rodriguez (el Camino aficionado) and Coco (Chimpanzee).
And to the parents who name your children after their World of Warcraft characters... from now on, you are only allowed to name inanimate objects until you can prove you don't completely suck at life.
