Oh, Believe me. It's time!

I joined a birth center mom's forum to keep abreast (pun intended) of the latest news and updates on everything from child psychology and milestones to everything having to do with natural baby care, nutrition, products, etc. For the most part, it has been worth my while to read the almost 50+ emails per day I get from the women who flood this thing with every topic imaginable. But every now and then, I see a post that makes me simply want to unsubscribe and never look back.

Today was one of those days. Here is an excerpt:

"Has anyone experienced agitation while nursing the older child in a tandem duo? Within the past 3 months I have gotten him down to nursing only twice a day and have stuck to it even though it has led to occasional tantrums. At times it seems unbearable and I feel the urge to push him away and I feel irritated towards him for no reason. Is this a normal feeling that happens when a child reaches a certain age? He is 3 1/2. We discussed him weaning when he turns 4, but I have recently started talking to him about weaning when he joins a soccer team in July because we decided that soccer players probably don't drink mama milk. I feel guilty both for having the bad feeling when he nurses and about pushing him to wean. Someone just tell me it's okay to wean him!"

I feel for the woman as she only wants what is best for her son and has guilt over having negative feelings towards him. But, here is why I want to shake her like a British nanny until something resembling functioning synapses fire together properly again.

First, she's looking for permission from total strangers when her gut is CLEARLY screaming at her. I'm a big believer in the gut-feeling. Even if you second and third guess yourself but find feelings of revulsion are stirred up when preforming a particular act, you probably should be avoiding it like the plague. If revulsion can keep you out of involving yourself in a third-world donkey show...well, I rest my case.

Second, HE'S 3 1/2 YRS OLD. As in pre-school age. As in probably able to share his own independent feelings on the subject of weaning in full sentences. If you are having full-blown conversations involving reasoning and social pressures, I'd have to wager a guess and say it's time to get the kid a sippy cup of apple juice and call it a day.

Third, at exactly what point does one think weaning gets easier as a child gets older? And, just how does one wean when you have to reason with said child and answer the question why? It's clearly not a nutrition thing (or a taste thing..bleh.) so that leaves the inevitable conclusion it's a comfort thing. I myself had to be weaned off a security blanket when I was almost 4. My mother's solution? Cutting it in half every time she put it in the dryer to clean it and tell me that the dryer was eating it. I wouldn't recommend the same approach here, however.