11.23.2010

Sleep when the baby sleeps...

I hear this phrase now almost as much as I heard "Wow, you don't even look pregnant!" even when I was 7 mo. along. Which of course was a big fat lie. Not a fib, but a blatant falsehood meant to make me feel "good" when I felt like a balloon. Placating hurts people.

My issue with sleep when the baby sleeps is that my daughter can pass out anywhere and anytime she pleases. (She doesn't but that's another post entirely) And in Never, Neverland, so could I. But then the dishes, the never ending laundry, the governmental paperwork to make my offspring "official", and my new reality of living as a newborn and not an adult would suffer entirely. We are not fortunate enough to have a maid nor a cook, and so "sleep when the baby sleeps" serves only to bug the crap out of me when I know it's well meaning.

"What good advice! And in spouting this nonsense to me you are, of course, simultaneously offering to come over and take care of all my chores while I sleep.... right?"


I imagine the reaction.."What did you just say?"

I laugh and shake my head, internally choking down the need to bitch slap the person. "I'm just teasing. I know I should."

Its even worse when the baby books that are meant to give me straight-forward, practical tips say it. They tell me to be a "Diva" and only worry about my personal hygiene and the baby's needs. Well, maybe I'm high-maintenance but I NEED more than a shower and a clean bottom. I also need congenial company occasionally and that means a clean living room and clean clothes and a clean kitchen. Divas don't typically do dishes and vacuum so until I see Mariah Carey's wide rear-end picking up a Swiffer, I think I'm gonna have to put the "Diva" title on stand-by.

Is my sleep deficiency showing yet?

2 comments:

  1. Luckily for me, with the twins (and with the boy too, but moreso with the girls), I had my mom there ALL the time. Even still, some things had to drop a couple of notches on my priority list. I think that was probably one of the few occasions in my life where I left dishes in my sink overnight (sometimes more than one night in a row) and just didn't care. Anyone who visits and rescues you from 48-72 hr coochie-coo spells and helps you remember how real adults talk will (1) overlook the messy kitchen or living room and (2) UNDERSTAND. If they don't, then they are just asshats. And what do we do with asshats? Laugh at them and hope one day they're introduced to the real world, and that it hurts. <3 ya!

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  2. Let me know if there are any food allergies/preferences & maybe I can get one or two meals done for you. :-)

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